Welcome to the New Age.

Out with the old, in with the OMMM.

I received some unexpected baby free time from my sweet hubs today with which, I was specifically instructed NOT to use to clean the house. So even though it was mid-day & disgustingly humid out, I went for a run. This was my third post baby run. That puts me at an average of 1 run per month since having EGP. And you know what? It was one of the BEST runs of my life. About a half mile into the run, I hit a little downhill slope, my stride opened up & this song came on my iPod:

"I'm wakin up! I feel it in my bones. Enough to make my system blow. Welcome to the new age, to the new age. Welcome to the new age, to the new age." 

-- Imagine Dragons, Radioactive

I felt so effin' bad ass. Like I could run for days. It was at that point that I let go of any attachment to time, pace, or distance. I let the music & my breath carry me through my run (which, was a whopping 2.5 miles). My pre-baby self would have been super pissed that I wasn't running at least a 6 minute mile or covering a minimum of 3 miles. But this Ommm Mama felt SO good not having to run against any of those self-imposed obstacles & instead allowed myself self to revel in the freedom that comes with running for the sake of running. It was a run of quality, not quantity. I'll get back to race pace & cover longer distances, eventually. In the meantime, it's helpful to keep reminding myself that every great accomplishment starts with an intention & some wobbly first steps. Running, motherhood, work, life can all become 100 times more enJOYable when we let go of our attachment to the end result & instead tackle whatever task, project, or challenge is laying before us with the most honest, whole-hearted effort we can give in that moment. 

"As the mind, so the man; bondage or liberation are in your own mind. If you feel bound, you are bound. If you feel liberated, you are liberated. Things outside neither bind nor liberate you; only your attitude toward them does that." -- The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Translation and Commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda, 1978.

6 Secrets to Sailing Through Early Motherhood

Bless me readers for I have sinned. It's been NINE weeks since my last blog post. And by last blog post I mean my first & only blog post...until today! While deciding to start a blog with a newborn may not have been the most practical idea ever, I'm still glad that I did it. In a way it has helped keep me accountable & committed to my intention of being an OMMM Mama; so even though I haven't published a post since my child was a week old, I've still been taking time to reflect & journal in order to maintain a grounded, big picture perspective during the day to day AND so that I would have material to share when a moment of inspiration & nap time happened to coincide. Plus, now that I have 10 whole weeks of motherhood under my belt, I feel a bit more qualified to be the author of a blog about being a mom! Here are the 6 most valuable lessons motherhood has taught me...so far!

Communicate & delegate
My husband & I have completely different communication styles. He just blurts things out where I, on the other hand, will process my thoughts for a while & eventually share. It's the eventually part of the sharing that normally gets me into trouble because the hubs can see that something is brewing in this head of mind but I just keep processing & processing...certain that I'll come up with a solution to remedy the situation on my own or that I'll come up with the perfect way to word whatever question, request, or complaint I need to make. The problem with this approach is that my husband is not a mind reader. The more I stew, the more agitated & frustrated I become. He can sense that I'm bothered, but because I haven't gotten around to sharing & he's not a clairvoyant he couldn't possibly know that I'm breaking out in anxiety hives because there are dog hair tumbleweeds gathering in every corner of our dining room. Unless I tell him that I'd really appreciated him running the vacuum while I'm nursing the baby, he will rightfully make the most of the downtime with his feet propped up & an episode of The League streaming through Netflix because the dog fur balls just don't bother him like they bother me. Being a mom is a lot of work & what I've had to learn is that asking for help doesn't make me a failure like my pitta perfectionist ego mind would have me believe; it just makes everyone a whole lot happier. 

Take the good with the bad & the bad with the good
The comment I hear parents make most frequently in regard to raising children is, "It goes by so fast." If this isn't true then, I don't know what is. I look at EGP & I can't believe he's been here for two whole months already. It's been weeks already since he first smiled. Several days since he started coo-ing. On the other hand, it feels like he's been here forever. I can fondly remember the days when I only did laundry once every two weeks. Oh wait, that was only 2 months ago, not another lifetime. Time is such a trippy concept but the lesson to be learned from it is that those sweet, heart-melting moments with your baby don't last & neither do the frustrating, melt-down moments. So put down the 5 other things you're trying to do & sing silly songs to your baby, make crazy faces & sounds. Be ridiculously in love with your baby & give your full attention to whatever adorable thing he/she is doing in this very special moment that you will never get back. And when you're changing your 5th diaper blow out of the day, wiping throw up off your favorite dress, staring at a sink full of unwashed dishes, or getting dirty looks from fellow diners because your baby decided the restaurant you're in has the perfect acoustics for testing his/her lung capacity -- just breathe. Don't freak out or let the situation overwhelm you. Take a second to remind yourself, this too will pass. 

The many faces of 2-month old Ewan.

Don't beat yourself up. Just do your best.

I really, really, really wanted to have a drug free delivery. I ended up getting an epidural. We planned to use cloth diapers. Our child is wearing OMMMazing disposable diapers from The Honest Company. I used to vacuum the house every other day. Now I get around to it maybe once a week. I really want to commit a vegan diet. I bought cheese when I went grocery shopping last week. You get the point. No one is perfect, yet we hold ourselves to some really daunting expectations -- like having {insert celebrity/public figure/stranger from the gym name here}'s rockin' post baby body & Pinterest picture perfect dishes on the table for every meal. You'll never have their body nor anything else you might covet from another person's life because it's THEIR body & THEIR life. What you can excel 100% at is being YOUR authentic self. Own your awesomeness & your imperfections. Just be you. Let go of expectations. Focus your energy & intention on doing the best that you can with what you have to work with in a given moment.

Start dating.
Take a look at the beautiful, coo-ing, slobbering, squirmy, little creature that's surely not too far away from where you are reading this blog. That small, amazing being would not exist if it weren't for a very special spark that was ignited when you & your main squeeze first started dating. You know exactly what I mean. That excitement, giddiness, & sense of urgency you had to be near them. You were suddenly like a moth, they became your flame, & no other light source would do. With a new baby in the house, it seems inevitable for that fiery love to dwindle a bit. But, it doesn't have to go out. Make a resolute effort to enjoy some alone time with your other half. Even if it is just to sit at the dining room table to eat cold leftovers together. Look at them. Listen to them. Touch them. Let the sparks fly.

Our first post-baby date. Wine tasting on the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad.

W(h)ine with your girlfriends.
I've never been one of those girls who has a close-knit circle of besties to do everything with. I've always been more of the independent type with more male friends than female gal pals. Being pregnant, having a baby, & becoming a mom however, is a uniquely feminine experience & there is no one else in this world who can understand the (sometimes contradictory) feelings & emotions that come with this complex territory like another mom. It is nothing against your spouse, single friends, or those without children. Their love & support is priceless. It's just that motherhood often feels like an ocean that is hard to explain or comprehend until you've sailed across it. If we as women don't band together as a motley crew of mothers, offering support & compassion to one another, the prevalence of postpartum depression (PPD) will only continue to rise. The most recent study on PPD, conducted by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) between 2004-2005, only looked at self-reported cases in 17 of our 50 states & concluded that anywhere between 11-20% of new moms suffer from PPD. I imagine that if they were to include the remaining 33 states & cases that were not reported to an OB/GYN during post-natal care visits, they would find the PPD statistics to be much higher. 

I consider myself very lucky to not have struggled with PPD in large part, I believe, because of Yoga. In larger part, I feel the healthy, happy handle I have on motherhood is a result of the friendships I've forged with new & accomplished moms. Their support, humor, & encouragement has been invaluable. I am especially thankful for my Sunday morning coffee talks with fellow new mom (& author of the fabulous It's A Hero blog!), Rachel. We've known each other for a few years just through Yoga, but have become much closer since becoming moms within 5 months of each other. Now, both moms of handsome little boys, we meet up every other Sunday morning to share the highs & lows of the past week. I've shuffled in on a couple of Sundays on the verge of tears & other Sundays, I've floated in on waves of joy. Regardless of the state I arrive in, I always leave feeling 110% better because our chats & simply Rachel's presence reminds that I'm not alone. It's exceptionally reassuring to know that someone else wants to smother her husband in kisses for all the wonderful things he does & then smother him with a pillow for breathing too loudly...a mere 10 seconds later. It's comforting to know that someone else fantasizes about the quiet, blissful solitude of a hotel room, fuzzy robe, trashy reality TV, & a bottle of wine...but would be calling home within an hour because she misses her guys. 

We're not crazy. We're moms & we've got to be there for one another. Make it a point this week to schedule a date with another mom for a quick cup of joe or to languidly work your way through a bottle of wine together. Whether it's the conversation, the wine, or a caffeine buzz, you'll both feel you have the buoyancy to handle whatever the sea of motherhood tosses aboard.

Be grateful.

Coffee. Baby wipes. Grandmas. Concealer. The Moby Wrap. Pacifiers. Granola bars. If we stopped for a moment each day to consider the items we use on a daily basis that make our life simpler, to appreciate the people in our lives that provide endless amounts of love & support, or even to marvel at the major astrological event that occurs every morning before our eyes when a giant ball of fire rises into the sky, we'd find that we have an endless list of things to be thankful for. If on the other hand, you only look for things to bitch & complain about, you'll undoubtedly find those too. But, I guarantee your mood will lighten, your heart will feel fuller, & your day will be far less overwhelming if you take a mOMMMent to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

WelcOMMMe!

Yesterday marked one week since the most miraculous, joyful event of my life to date -- the birth of my son EGP. Since his arrival, I've been trying to use some of the quiet time during naps & breastfeeding sessions to write a daily journal entry. Committing to this daily practice has allowed me to reflect on the magnitude of this blessed event (I BIRTHED a child!), helped me to process the gamete of emotions rushing through me (euphoria! fatigue! elation! frustration!), & mainly, to combat the fuzziness of baby brain by documenting all that these precious first days hold in writing.

Momentous life events like marrying your best friend, the birth of a child, purchasing your first home, or bravely setting off for a land where the people, language, & customs are completely foreign are also the moments where we gain real perspective on our lives -- what we truly want to accomplish with our time here, how much we have to live for, how much there is to be grateful for, & how innately happy we truly are. In other words, in these most significant moments we are experiencing Samadhi or Turiya, the highest state of consciousness, of bliss, a oneness with God. (*In the symbol OM, this state of consciousness, called Turiya, is represented by the diamond shape sitting above the crescent. It's the state of being beyond. You can think of it as the star atop the Christmas tree or dallops of whip cream on top of an already decadent dessert...it just takes you beyond!) These moments lend themselves to a feeling of connection to something higher. They are so moving, that we literally are pushed out of our own way & for once, surrender ourselves completely to the enormity of the moment. I felt this as I watched EGP's head emerge, heard his first cry & held his squirmy little body against my chest. Pure, ecstatic, joy & contentment. The ultimate high. Over the past week, everytime I look at him, I feel a yearning for that giddy, happy state that I know is within me. I've become a Turiya junkie. 

Looking back now at week's worth of journal entries I've been able to see that as a student of Yoga, I'm constantly practicing to clear away the clutter & chaos of my mind so that I can move toward a clearer state of physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual awareness. As a Yoga teacher, it's my goal to inspire & encourage others to search for this mind-body awareness & connection to something higher in their own practice & lives. And just like when we're in the middle of one of those momentous, life-changing events, experiencing that feeling of wholeness & happiness is easy when you're in a yoga class; you're in a controlled environment with lighting, music, & movements geared specifically toward cultivating peacefulness, a sense of empowerment & feelings of wholeness. But what about when you step outside of those four zen-filled walls? I once heard someone (sorry, baby brain!) say that anyone can achieve enlightment if they lock themselves away & meditate for 16 hours a day. Who has that luxury? A monk perhaps but, definitely not a new mom. Those of us living as members of secular society have chosen the more challenging spiritual path to enlightenment -- it's called everyday life. But, that doesn't mean we're SOL. It just requires that we take a different approach, that we are guided by a different map to the same destination. My intention is to seek out, hear, feel, & experience the blissful vibration of OMMM in the challenging, frustrating, & joyful every day moments that come with being a wife, new mom, yoga teacher, & human being. That means, searching for (even just a glimpse of) ecstatic bliss during 3 am feedings & diaper blow-outs, while trying to get the laundry done, keeping up with the dishes, & balancing my return to teaching Yoga classes with now also being responsible for another (really adorable) human being. This blog is an account of my humble attempt to find the peace, joy & bliss of OMMM amidst the chaos & strife of everyday life. -- Ommm Mama G